The Silence.

Sometimes the silence gets so loud, nothing you say could ever be heard over it. Sometimes it gets so thick, its unpiercable. The thought of screaming and trying so desperately, is no longer an option. And so the silence mutes you. and deaf and dumb you remain.

And On,

And I'm reading this book about death in your house, where you once lived. Your name and the tears that start in my heart and work up, are synonymous. I hope you are resting in peace. More peacefully than us, those you left behind. Three years today. How can the earth still turn? And I read, the sky had not changed its silence or its shape or its position after your soul rose up to it. The little girl raised her eyes to it, searching for some trace. She walked then stopped, ran then stopped, and finally sat down. But the sky still looked the same, uninterested in all the movements underneath it.

Can't Stop Thinking.

And all death leave you with is that nagging feeling. You should have been here. And I cant stop thinking it. The years are good to us. Your missing out on what would have been the best years of your life. And as horrible as that is, I cant stop thinking it. How unfair, what a horrible joke. Life, or rather death, snatched you away, like a dropped egg, moments before hatching. We’re legal now, we can do and joke and say all the things we were once aspiring to. We’re doing all the things we once planned to, but your not here, and I cant stop thinking it. If love, if tears were enough, you would be here. But somehow its not, and neither are you. and I cant stop thinking it.

.

I loved you so much in fact, that it was just shy of enough.

Fire To Ice.

And the only thing that plagues me now on those cold, once lonely nights, is the question of whether I will ever be able to believe again. Will I ever be able to feel? Its no longer a refreshing change, but now almost as worrying. Fire to ice, fire to ice.

So In Control.

Don’t think it or it will be so. Don’t utter a single word in the presence of yourself. If you knew how powerful the mind is, you would never again think a negative thought.

The Caterpillar Who Learnt To Fly.

And its all because I disliked the person I was when I was with you, that I dislike you now. Its strange how your world can turn upside down, change beyond all recognition. I couldn’t fake a laugh with you now if I tried. You were once what dictated whether or not I could smile. Like the caterpillar that thought his life would be over when he died, the butterfly found itself to be so much more beautiful. Unsure of how he had once been such an ugly thing.