Melting.

I may not remember every individual diamond encrusted, glittering sweet of a word you whisper to me
late at night,
But I can feel the shimmery haze of them
all lined up,
pressed together.

Each one squirming to be heard over the promises of the others.
How could the cold ever get a word in edge wise?
There's nowhere for it to go.

Your words drape over me,
I can feel them.
Your warmth is melting me,
turning me over on your tongue.

Don't spit me back out.

Insatiable.

There are words I can't push out,
although I can taste them on my tongue.

I miss you
I want you

Don't leave me alone.

The words are foul tasting and leave a bitter streak as I swallow them back down.

Insatiable.

Excess.

Theres something new pumping through my veins. Something so far from the vains of old.
Vanity brought me nowhere, but to the mirror time and time again.

''You are so beautiful.''
It was what every little girl had fought tooth and nail and claw to hear.
Sobbing into the pillow, 'tell me again, tell me again.''

But anything in excess is bad. And she found herself in front of the mirror time and time again.
Head unbowing, eyes unblinking
''You are so beautiful.''

She had so much more
but reflected in the mirror and all that she had been told,

she had nothing else.

Wake Up.

Like a star she had wished on, she kept her eyes on it, leaning every so slightly forward, reaching ever so slightly upward, never letting it out of her sight.

''Dreams are for beggars.''

''So what do I do?''

''Wake up and make it true.''

Fear or Truth?

And he begs you to share, to open up... ''I want to know everything about you'' he breathes into you late at night, when you are too tired and too comfortable in his arms to keep up your defences anyway.

''I want to know everything.'' And so day by day the bricks disintegrate, crumbling into pieces and falling from the sky in a way that makes you have to bend, and weave, and dodge them. In a way you never thought possible.

So you start to show the 'real' you. The one you thought you had murdered (Were a thousand stabbings not enough? A thousand scars, thousand pills, thousand fatal [they MUST have been fatal] gunshots?) But she has somehow been resurrected, like a crazy version of the past you almost forgot existed.

And you start to show your anxieties, the ones you pretended to him (and to yourself) did not exist.

And he starts to back away
slowly.
One foot behind the other,
slowly.
As if to avoid awakening a sleeping beast.

But is this the fear or the truth talking?
You have no proof.
Only that that is how you feel about your own emotions

The ones you deem
So
Damn
Pathetic.

Language of Lovers.

I'm falling deeper in love with words every day... They have this ability to build or break, caress or cloy... devour or destroy. They can show you what a thousand broken smiles, a million tears cannot. They are so easy to use, empty promises so easy to deliver. But they fill the holes in my pores, explain what my heart beat and dry mouth cannot. They have the ability to mend, those words that fit into the folds of your skin, like a lullaby a mother who actually cares would sing her child to sleep. Some words have the ability to change your life, to change the language you use to see the world through.

You fix me daily.

Wanted.

You make me smile sneakily to myself, like I have a secret no one knows but me. You make me feel special in a way I haven't in so long. Safe, Wanted. And your arms around me are my favourite haven right now. And your lips my favourite black hole, which I tumble so lightning fast through.

And you make me not want to roll my eyes at the couples clinging desperately to each other in the streets. And you've found my heart from the depths of the icicles I buried it in. And maybe you're making me believe in thing's I told myself did not exist.

But every other thought is you. And I feel out of control in a way I haven't in so long. I've almost gotten out from under my wall, but I don't know how long I'll last without it. Every second hour I tell myself to run. And when you are not in front of me, reminding me of why and how, I tense my haunches almost ready to sprint for my life.

Because that's what it feels like. It feels like my life at stake.