Saturday, 14 August 2010
The Bruised Ego
You are my go-to thought when my mind is blank. And how long can you cringe at yourself for after the fact? You brought out things in me I would rather forget. I would like to think that was me pretending, rather than the true size of my ego. I would like to think I was simply trying to match yours. After being ice for so long, I willingly turned into water for you, against all odds bursting into flames. There are some things I suppose your meant to put to rest, without ever really getting any rest from it. I wish I could go back, re-act, re-think my actions and those thoughts I never should have thought aloud. Perhaps that’s how it goes. I had been getting too used to getting my way for too long. The balance must have been wrong.
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Beautifully written, as always. I feel as if a broken ego and broken heart are different in that the ego thing is more about pride and the broken heart is more about given yourself so fully... unselfishness and longing and hurt all intertwined.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I want to give myself, I can't. Not really.
ReplyDelete@Abby - I agree. Ego is all to do with how you see yourself, while your heart is to do with how you see the other person.
ReplyDelete@Sassy - I dont blame you. Me too.
Stay you. Don't try to reinvent what isn't broken. Embrace, build, persevere, and you will be more complete than a fractured reimagining of what seems correct.
ReplyDelete-- fondly